


tony IV

by captainstarspangled



Series: when team members make peter cry [20]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anorexia, Crying, Hurt Tony Stark, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2019-07-24 12:57:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16175540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainstarspangled/pseuds/captainstarspangled
Summary: When Ned started to lose weight and become fit, his and Peter's friendship became less and less intense.Not only did Ned start to become more popular, but Peter's self esteem became non existent.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> She's alive!!
> 
> It's been a while. Explicit trigger warning: anorexia. Please kids, I know anyone who's already in it will whole heartedly ignore this warning. I just hope you'll get better, and that god will fulfill your plan before you completely ruin your body for that illness. 
> 
> That being said, no I do not struggle with my self-esteem at the moment, but I think it's an important chapter to cover. I hope you guys enjoy!

To put it kindly, Peter had been a… bitch lately. 

He was in the middle of finals in his senior year of high school. Everything was going perfectly. He had landed a part time internship at Tesla, for he’d taken so many AP classes that it wasn’t necessary to study full time. Practically, his dreams were being fulfilled. 

Or so a lot of people thought. 

For two months, since before Peter had even started preparing himself for the finals, his self-esteem had gone pretty low. It had taken one, a single comment by Lauren, a girl in Peter’s physics class, to make the teen feel that way. 

 

At the beginning of summer break the year before, Ned had gotten a customized diet plan by a celebrity fitness coach in town. That was okay for Peter, if not good. Ned was getting healthy, and that’s all that mattered. But his best friend wasn’t just losing weight, he was gaining muscle. His facial features sharpened over time and Ned was getting a lot of attention from girls who first off had a similar goal, and second off started to like him not only for his loveable bubbly character but also for his looks. 

Peter was in a happy relationship with Michelle, but it’d never hurt to be considered the only hot super nerd at school. 

Their friendship was kind of suffering from Ned’s new lifestyle too. All they ever used to do was eat junk food and play video games. Now that his best friend ate healthy and spent every second at the gym, Peter felt left alone every other day. 

But it was kind of okay. Peter’s grades got better, and so did his relationship with Michelle, and it seemed fine for 9 months. 

 

Peter didn’t feel any different that day, until lunch. Lauren had never talked to anyone of them, but they had been at a public swimming pool in the morning and, while Peter had kept his shirt on and read comics, Ned showed off his newly achieved healthy body. And the girls went over the top. 

“Ned,” Lauren said as she sat down next to the teen, not even looking up at Peter and MJ. 

“Yeah?”

“What’s your body fat percentage?” 

Peter and MJ giggled. Lauren was known to be a gym shark as well, but none of the two had even a clue what that meant. “About 12,” Ned stated and looked down at his salad with chicken bits to grab another bite. 

“What really?” Peter didn’t even listen to what else Lauren had to say. The only sentence he heard was the one Lauren said to him as she left the table: “Looks like you’re the fat friend now.” Ned laughed and watched after Lauren walking away. It was completely out of context, but that sentence stuck to Peter. 

And it was all he could think about for the rest of the day. When the bell finished the last period for the day, Peter ran up to Ned to ask him whether they could hang out at his house after school. 

“I don’t know man, I wanted to go to the gym.” 

Peter rolled his eyes. “You can train in our gym. Please, we haven’t hung out in months.” 

 

“So what does that mean? Body fat?” Peter was jumping on the trampoline while Ned was lifting weights across the room. 

And he told Peter all he knew about fitness and weight loss and getting healthy. 

The Stark boy slowly and gradually started to work those tips into his daily diet, at extremes no one would dream thinking of. 

He was going to make sure that Ned would stay the fat friend, regarding body fat. Because Peter would have no fat on his body at all. 

They had stopped hanging out a lot anyways, so what did it matter?

On a Pro Anorexia website, Peter read that smoking really helped with cravings, and he started to smoke at a point where he was only eating 300 calories a day anyway. 

Peter stopped going to the cafeteria for lunch, and just hung out outside to smoke. His clothes were getting lose, but he made sure no one noticed by buying newer, tighter clothes right away. 

 

“Peter, I really think you should eat,” Ned said as MJ was still getting her food and they were alone at the Subway table. 

“I’m good,” the teenager said as his stomach grumbled loudly and Ned frowned at him. 

“I know what you’re doing Peter, and it’s not healthy.”

“Do you think what you’re doing is healthy? Going to the gym at every second possible, not eating a single food for fun?” 

“Peter, I’m not addictively denying food every day. I’m feeding my body what it needs.” 

Ned looked at Peter with sad eyes, and suddenly the teen was taken aback. His best friend had changed so much, and it was doing him so well and here Peter was, his jealousy taking over and not being able to feel happy for Ned. 

And he felt sorry, so extremely sorry it physically hurt. “C… Can you bring MJ home?” 

Ned nodded. “Sure.” 

“Can I call you tonight?” 

“Of course,” Ned said and Peter took off within a second. He really needed some air to breathe and took his car home. One or two tears made their way down his cheeks as he drove back home. 

 

“Pete can you come in here for a second?” Great, that voice never sounded good. He walked into the kitchen, where his dad was standing in front of the sink that was filled with dishes from Peter’s last binge. 

“Could you please clean these up?” Peter nodded in response. “Oh, and your room too when you’re done.”

“Yes, dad.” Tony nodded, and turned on his heel to leave the kitchen when they both heard the very audible ding of the man’s phone. Tony took it out of his pocket and looked at the picture Rhodey had sent him for a second. 

“What’s this?” He asked in a very monotone voice, and showed the screen to his son. It was a paparazzi picture of Peter with a cigarette clearly in his mouth. 

“I.. uh.” 

“What were you thinking? You should take a look at Ned. He’s getting all healthy and shit while you’re out there smoking?” 

“I’m sorry,” Peter said and hung his head low. 

“Sorry isn’t good enough, you need to quit this for as long as you still can.” 

“I know, I’ll try.” Peter’s eyes filled with tears. Right then, he seemed to be a disappointment to the entire human race. 

“Can I please do this afterwards? I need a second-“

“Yes, you can.” Pops was always there to save the day a little, even now that his little boy was practically an adult. 

Tony turned around in disbelief when his husband entered the kitchen, and Peter brushed past them without a second wasted. 

 

He went straight up to the rooftop and let the tears fall on his way there. Once outside, he lit a cigarette.

The boy hadn’t eaten in 2 days, and was running on no calorie energy drinks. He took his usual spot at the railing, overlooking the city. 

 

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Steve started to clean up Peter’s mess. 

“I can’t believe you’re doing this for him. He’s so spoilt already.” 

“No Tony, he’s not. He never used to make a mess until a few weeks ago. Something’s clearly wrong.” 

Tony groaned. “And what do you think that is?” 

Steve laughed painfully. “When was the last time we saw Ned?”

“I don’t know, last week or so?” 

“And before that?” 

Tony’s eyes grew big. “Last year.” 

Steve nodded. “And how did he look?” 

“Amazing. Like Thor,” Tony stated. 

“When was the last time you saw Peter eat?” 

Tony shrugged in response. “Can’t recall.” And then his eyes grew even bigger. “You think…” 

“Tony, what do you think it does to someone when their friend suddenly gets all the attention. When being the skinny one was a great thing in their relationship before but now it’s the less healthy of the two?”

Silence.

“Tony, Pete needs his dad. Right now. I’ve been watching for long enough and I’ll talk to him too, but right now you need to go up there. And please forget about the cigarettes. It truly doesn’t matter until he’s eating better.

 

“This is a great spot. I used to come out here a lot when I first moved in.” Why his dad was here was a question for another day. For now, Peter just had to wipe his cheeks. 

The man took a stand next to his son and watched the cigarette be led to the boys lips. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.” Peter pulled a face at the disgusting smell of the cigarette. He still hated them after a month. 

“Clearly, you’re not. You’ve been up to a lot of shit lately.” Peter had been having mood swings, sudden bursts of anger at any Avenger and Michelle. 

“I’m sorry,” Peter whispered, his desperate voice like a knife in Tony’s heart. 

“What for?”

“For being such a bitch lately. And for smoking.” But Peter was crying now, and Tony knew there was more. “I can tell you, I hate myself more than you do.” With a trembling hand, Peter put the cigarette into the ash tray attached to the railing. 

“I don’t hate you Pete. You couldn’t be more wrong.” Tony took a breath because he was quite hurt at his boy’s words. “Why do you hate yourself so much?”

“Because I’m not healthy, or fit, or popular. I love Ned for getting healthy. But it just hurts. I never see him, he’s always focused on his stupid weight lifting. And now I’m the fat friend and I never knew how much that sucks.”

“Wow. Hold on, who told you you’re the fat friend?” 

“Some girl at school. But it doesn’t matter, because I’ll be the skinniest bitch the school has ever seen.”

Tony looked at his son in disbelief. “You’re a stick, Peter.” 

Peter turned to face his dad, looking up though to make the tears that were falling subside more quickly. He didn’t know what to say because clearly, he’d been gaining a lot of weight. He was starting to look like Ned a few months ago. 

Tony couldn’t look at that anymore. He jumped forward and wrapped the boy in the tightest hug. He felt his son’s ribs, and realized how he could wrap his arms around Peter’s entire frame. And Peter just started to cry more, sticking the knife deeper into Tony’s heart. “I’ll be there for you Pete.”


	2. hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tony and steve try to help their son while they still can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> continued!! 
> 
> uhm... I'm kinda an idiot and triggered myself with this? :)))))
> 
> but I guess you could say it's not bad yet...

The next morning, Steve and Tony decided that they were not going to let Peter ruin his health for good. And that they wanted to help him as much as they still could. 

Peter got up that morning, his stomach grumbling like crazy. His morning routine included: Taking a hot shower, scrubbing off anything and everything from his body and stepping on the scale. By taking a shower first and weighing himself with the weight of wet hair, he had the assurance that he was always a tiny bit lighter than he actually thought he was. 

He had lost another half pound since the day before, weighing in at 105 pounds now. This, together with his height of about 5'6 gave a BMI of 17. Not too bad.

Still, Peter's goal weight was still quite far away. He had an internet friend who weighed in at 70 pounds at the same height as his, and she was still alive. So logically he would still be alive by the time his weight was that low. Yet Peter doubted that he would still want to be alive in those few months. 

For weeks, no one had been in Peter's room because he had covered all the mirrors in there with towels, or linen sheets, so he wouldn't have to face the body he was certain he was trapped in. 

After putting on some loose pants, so that no one would realize how big his thighs actually were, he threw on a big sweater and went downstairs. 

"Good morning," he greeted surprisingly every Avenger, since they were all assembled around the breakfast table. It smelled awful: Like pancakes and bacon and scrambled eggs. Those were all smells that concluded into one: temptation. "You guys enjoy your breakfast, I'll head to school." 

"You don't have a single exam today, Pete." Peter gave his pops an annoyed glare. The man was right, there was only one final left entirely. 

"I still have studying to do." 

"You'll do that at home." Peter felt his ears ring. He hadn't eaten in 60 hours, and his blood sugar was at probably 0. 

"W-Why?" Then Peter made the first mistake of the day: He held on to Pops' biceps in order not to fall over unconscious. Instantly, Steve's hand went around Peter's back. 

"I suggest you sit down and have some breakfast for now, then I'll explain." Peter got a great spot at the breakfast table; between Thor and Clint. Thor to well, intimidate him, and Clint to watch him closely. Because around Clint he wasn't able to do any of his usual hiding the food anywhere. 

"So," Steve said when he sat down opposite his son. "It's no secret where your mental state and your body image have been at for the past few months." 

Peter nodded. His stomach hurt from hunger pains, but he didn't feel that properly anymore. By now, they were just a constant feeling along his journey to the perfect body. 

"So I figured we would all try to help you back to a normal relationship with food. No treatment centers involved, just a talk to a therapist once a week."

Peter sat in silence as he watched Thor pile thousands of calories on his plate. He had heard from a few people that treatment centers were absolute hell: They forced the patients to a weigh in once a week, and if they hadn't gained weight they would have to stay longer and not get any phone time for the next week. So Peter sucked it up for now. He nodded. "Okay." Voice so broken only Clint could hear it. 

Everyone made big eyes. There was apparently nothing left of Peter's warrior nature. They had all expected him to fight back at least a little. "Oh. Okay," Steve said. "Then we'll have breakfast and you can come to train with us afterwards." 

"I'm feeling sick." Then the argument that Peter had seen movies about started. Somehow they managed to make him eat an almost normal sized breakfast. 

When he went to the gym afterwards though, Peter had to lie down for half an hour so that he wouldn't feel sick anymore. 

Then Thor took Peter under his wings for the rest of the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so as you have probably assumed, this will have more than two parts :)


	3. a divine treatment center

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Peter is finally done with all his finals, his parents have a special surprise for where he'll be spending the weeks before graduation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gahh finally updating again... I feel like this is becoming an actual story instead of just a long one shot lol

This routine was kept up for a devastating three days, at least in Peter's view. 

The teenager was sure he'd eaten at least 3000 calories every day, without even being allowed to exercise. Not even bouncing his leg. 

No amount of crying or panic attacks or tantrums convinced his parents and their team to let him at least cut out some food groups, or at least do some light exercise. Jarvis was on the watch out at night - Peter had exercised at night for a few weeks now. His scale was taken away, the social media platforms that seemed to do harm deleted off his phone and he was never allowed alone in a room. 

If he was being fair, Peter did start to warm up a little, to feel less dizzy all the time and to study again with ease. He was pretty sure he aced that last final. It was still not worth it though. 

 

"How'd it go?" Pops was there to pick him up the second the bell rang. Peter was thankful that he was still kindhearted, open, loving pops. No one was treating him any different except when it was about eating. Peter wholly appreciated that. 

"Well, I'm glad it's over."

"You've deserved your summer break. Do you know what that means?"

Peter knew fair well what that meant. Every school year on the last day, Pops took him to Coney Island for Icecream and some fun rides. 

"I'm really not in the mood today Pops," Peter said, tears pricking at his eyes for feeling so sorry and being overwhelmed with emotions at all times. 

"Come on Pete it'll be fun. Just like back then." Pops smiled and Peter did too but it was a sad smile and tears were already falling down his cheeks. 

And so Peter was held in Pops arms until he was ready to face reality again. 

"I won't make you eat until lunch," Pops promised because Peter had eaten a feisty breakfast and it was only 11 in the morning. 

The two had a blast on Coney Island for the entirety of the afternoon, and Peter finally started smiling again for real. 

 

Upon returning in the evening, Peter went straight for the couch, lying down and placing his head in his dad's lap. He hadn't done that in years, but for once he was happy in a long time and it felt like a natural thing to do. 

He fell asleep before dinner arrived, and that day it was only him and his two fathers eating. 

"So Pete, we've been thinking," Tony said at some point throughout the meal. "Originally we said no treatment centers involved, but none of is realized how time intensive this would be.” Peter frowned. Eli in To The Bone was right; they were problems, not people. “With all of us aside from me and Pops gone for the summer and the missions we have, it won’t be possible to keep you here.” Peter sat quietly, having expected something very similar. “So we wanted to actually send you to treatment.” Peter’s face fell, his shoulder slumped.

"But Thor had a different idea," Tony said and Peter looked up from his plate. "He thought that maybe you just have to get out of this city and away from your known surroundings for a bit, or at least until graduation."

There was silence for a bit. "You'll be spending your summer in Asgard for at least a bit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're struggling with an ed, please seek help. it is a deadly disease that deserves attention and treatment like any other illness!


	4. just like family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is sent to Asgard for the summer, no further questions asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk where I'm going with this, enjoy ig

Peter had no idea how to react to that. He loved Asgard, and Loki and Frigga and Thor's friends. But Asgardians sure ate a lot of food. Scary food. 

And so the teenager just didn't react and continued to eat. 

"How do you feel about that Peter?" Pops asked him and placed a hand on his shoulder, which Peter brushed off for no particular reason. 

Peter took a deep breath. "Look, guys. I have absolutely no idea what I'm feeling right now. I'm numb for an entire day and then overwhelmed with a flood of emotions in a split second. All I do know is that for the past four days, I have lived in constant fear of what you're going to feed me, and I've probably gained 10 pounds, and that it makes me want to die.  
So wherever you'll send me, please just make it stop. I just want to be the happy kid from before." 

Miraculously, Peter wasn't crying now, not letting this affect him as much as it did Steve and Tony. But Pops was crying quietly, with just tears running down his face, and Peter's heart started to beat rapidly. He looked at his dad in excitement, and completely overwhelmed.

But dad moved his head towards pops, and so Peter got up to give pops a hug. And before he knew, for a second he was that boy again, sitting on pops' lap with his head against the man's chest. 

 

The next day, Ned and Michelle came over to help Peter pack for that one week in Asgard until graduation. But first, they all lay down on their backs on Peter's bed. "I'm so sorry you guys, I really hope I didn't ruin anything with being me these past few months. 

"Oh Pete, it's okay. That's what friends are here for. Or girlfriends," Ned said but gave Peter a sad smile.

"Yes, he's right. We just want the best for you," Michelle said. "So what's that place you're going to? Like a treatment center? Will you be allowed to call home?"

Peter laughed in response. "Uh I don't think I'll be able to call from where I'll be. They're sending me to Asgard."

The fact that Peter was going to Asgard made packing a tad harder. Thor had told him that he should bring a few clothes, but that at some point, he'd probably be wearing Asgardian clothing. Peter decided to leave his phone at home. He wouldn't be able to charge it anyway and his dad had given him an old Polaroid camera with lots of film to lock in the memories.

So, with just a sports bag with a secret stash of cigarettes, Peter was ready to leave. 

After saying goodbye to everyone, Thor took him out on the balcony, held his arm around Peter and his hammer into the air and off they were. 

 

"It is with great pleasure that I welcome you back to Asgard, son of Stark."

"Heimdall my man how've you been?" Peter exclaimed, overly excited about being back. He went to hug the tall man and Thor took Peter's belongings and off they were for the long walk over the rainbow bridge.

"I'm glad your fathers allowed me to bring you here, Peter. I hope you'll enjoy your time here and that you'll be healed."

"Me too, Thor. Thank you so much for this offer."

The walk through the actual streets of Asgard was just a bit overwhelming to Peter. He knew most of the people who lived there, but that day, they weren't as smiley as usual. Rather, they seemed shock to see Peter looking like this. And it didn't help Peter's self esteem greatly. 

Thor noticed, and put an arm around the teen's shoulder. "Don't look at them Peter, they don't have Midgardian manners of not staring," he said and Peter did as he'd been told, just focusing on his feet and the ground in front of him until they entered the palace. 

Frigga was the first one to greet Peter. She hugged him closely. "I'm so glad to have you here young Peter." On the days he'd spent in Asgard, Frigga had always been like a mother to Peter, and he adored the godess to pieces. 

"Thank you so much for letting me stay here," Peter said. 

"Oh don't mention it. Come on, I think tea is about ready. Loki is ecstatic to see you again."


	5. restless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter starts to adjust to life in Asgard, although the lifestyle the god's lead are undeniably the scariest thing that has ever happened to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey gals so after the fail from last week where I posted literally two sentences I thought I would try to be quick with the actual full chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Loki seemed overly shocked to see Peter the way he looked. He nevertheless decided to ignore how the boy's knees were the broadest part of his legs, how his arms looked like those of a child and how his cheekbones were high up. 

"Uncle Loki!" Peter dropped his bags at the entrance of the dining hall and ran up to his uncle, hugging the man tight. 

"It's good to see you again, Peter." 

"We will be having some tea and afterwards Loki can show you to your chambers." 

Odin was in a meeting with several security councils of the other realms, and so not able to join their afternoon tea.

"So boys," Frigga started the conversation. "How's Midgard?"

Peter shrugged his shoulders. "It's alright, times are changing and you can feel it." 

Peter soon realized he should've specified more giving his answer, because what Frigga asked him next could've been pushed back in his opinion. "So, Peter. Why don't you explain to us in your own words why you're here?" Six eyes were on Frigga now, none of them believing what they'd just heard. Peter guessed this was alright. 'Triggers' were everywhere now anyway, in every sentence someone said, in every person he saw, in every glance someone shot him, so he might as well explain by himself why he was there. 

"Well," he said with a small cough. "My parents and their friends think I'm too skinny." There was silence for a few seconds. And Peter realized he would not be getting out of this easily. And he figured he owed it to his parents to at least try. "I don't really... I mean, I know that I'm skinnier than most people, but I feel like maybe I have a different thought of what's too skinny than everyone else." He went quiet again for a bit, but then it flooded out of him: "Food has become so scary these past few months. It like... makes me hate myself so much when I overeat. Or even eat a normal amount of food. I feel safe when I feel hungry, as if it's some sort of comfort. And that's wrong so my dads thought maybe going to a place like this where you appreciate food differently would help."

"Thank you, Peter, for sharing your view of things." Frigga was doing this well, Peter decided. 

 

After tea, Thor had to go meet his father to discuss what had been discussed in the meeting earlier on, and Loki took Peter to the room between his and Thor's. It was no bigger than his childhood bedroom at Stark tower, but nonetheless decorated more sophisticated. "It's sad to see you like this, Peter," Loki stated and Peter sucked in a breath. 

He sat down on the bed, right next to his uncle. "I know," he said, looking at how skinny his legs were next to Loki's in the process. "I want to stop hurting my parents," he said, breath hitching at the end and pulling Loki's attention to his face. 

"Come here," the god said and put his arm around Peter's shoulders and pulled the teenager close. 

After a little encouragement talk from Loki, him and Peter went out and about Asgard, walking around town until they were called to dinner. 

 

The dinner table was at least 30 foot long. Frigga and Odin sat at the ends of it, Thor in the middle on one side and Loki next to Peter on the other side, the two of them parting the table in 3 equal parts. 

It felt good to not be watched as closely as he used to be on earth, and the food was great. Talking to Asgardians about it brought the problems Peter had down to earth. He felt like he could relax for once. Plus he was still really fucking hungry. 

And so he ate what had been served, and he slowed himself down from time to time when he felt like his eating was becoming compulsive. All was good for now.


	6. heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter slowly tries to accept the help offered to him in Asgard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! My ed has had me in it's jaw for a few months and I feel myself slip deeper in it again but idk I'm just living in denial rn.

It only took Peter about an hour before he regretted having eaten that much for dinner. After finishing the meal, everyone somehow excused themselves to do something else, and so Peter was left with himself, and worst of all left with his thoughts.  
He paced up and down his room, contemplating his options. Of course, he could always just put on his running shoes and go for a run in the royal gardens, but he would likely just get lost.

  
There was the option of doing situps on the floor, but his spine was sticking out and lightly bruised with the movement, so that was a no too. Doing them in the bed wasn't an option either, they simply weren't effective enough that way.  
So getting lost in the gardens of Odin's palace seemed like the best option here.

  
Peter ran, and ran, and ran. The watch on his wrist told him that he'd been running for 1.5 hours when he finally stopped to slump over and breathe. Roughly 1000 calories were gone and Peter was breathing his heart out of his chest.

  
He felt a bit guilty over betraying the Odinsons' trust like that, but the guilt did not stand up against the euphoria he was feeling of not gaining anymore weight at least until tomorrow.

  
Deciding to run a half an hour more to complete his workout and find his way back to the palace, Peter left the spot he'd been crouching in and ran even faster than he had before.

  
A few minutes in though, Peter saw sparkles clouding his vision and before he knew, his body hit the cold, soft grass beneath him.

It must've been several hours later that he was shaken awake by his uncle Loki; The sky was completely dark now and the sounds of Asgard's nightlife had completely died down.

  
"Uncle Loki?" Peter said, immediately putting a hand to his throbbing head.

  
"Peter, what are you doing here?" Loki said and took the boy's hands to pull him up, supporting him to make sure Peter wouldn't faint again.

  
"I uh..." Peter's head fell. He'd gotten so good at making excuses that finding one right then would've been the easiest thing to do, but he was a Stark, and Starks liked the complicated way much beter than the easy way. "After dinner I became anxious."

  
"Anxious about what?" Loki asked as he let Peter sit on a bench closeby.

  
"About... I don't even know. Feeling my stomach being so full, not having control about anything in my life," Peter admitted and looked at his uncle with regret written over his face.

  
"And why did you decide to go for a run rather than come talk to me or Thor about it?"

  
Peter shrugged his shoulders in response. "I felt like a failure. On one hand for eating, and on the other hand for finally eating and then feeling like that right after. You and Thor are much too important up here to be bothered with my stupid nonsense anyway," Peter explained with a shrug. It felt weird to describe his irrational thoughts to someone, and while they made some sense to Peter, Loki was most puzzled.

  
"I don't know what to say Peter. I mean, we can't force you to do anything, and we won't do that. You have to want to get better if you want to stay here. Odin says he wants to see you improve or he'll send you back to earth," Loki said with a calm voice.

  
Peter shrugged his shoulders. "So if I don't want to get better, he'll just let me die at home?" He knew he was pushing boundaries here and being a bit harsh on Loki, but that's what it sounded like to Peter. Like his eating disorder had always made him believe: that no one cared whether he was alive or not.

  
"Do you want to die?" Loki's words shocked both of them. They could either backfire terribly or solve a lot.

  
"I... I'm not sure," Peter stated, voice thick with emotion. He had never been asked that before, and it terrified him that the question had not been out of the blue. What was there to this life that he would miss? Everyone close to him seemed to have thought that Peter didn't have anything to complain about before his eating disorder broke out. He was a great student, he had a spot at MIT, he had two best friends, one of them was even his girlfriend, his parents were rich and he lived in New York Citty out of all places. But now... It all seemed so far away, so not worth fighting for. "I don't know why I would fight through," Peter admitted and held his head low, unwilling to face Loki right then.

  
"Let's see, shall we?" Loki asked but placed his hand on Peter's forehead before the boy could say anything.

 

 

 

_Peter took a long trip down memory lane, the first stop being 14 years ago. He was three years old, almost four, and had lived at an orphanage all his life. The Orphanage mother, Renata, had told the kids to get really dressed up that day, that someone very important was coming to visit and willing to adopt one of them._

 

_It was a warm spring day on which Tony Stark went inside that orphanage, hoping to find someone to love as much as he loved Steve, if not more._

 

_Peter had long before given up on hoping to be adopted and so he didn't go to the backyard with the other kids to show himself to Tony, instead he lay on his bed and read a children's book on planes, appreciating the fact that he'd been taught how to read a few weeks back. He twitched when someone suddenly walked through the door of the sleeping hall, and looked up at a brown haired man with a goatee, wearing jeans and a shirt and some yellow tinted sunglasses._

 

_Said man's heart immediately melted at the boy leaning against the headboard of his small bed. "I'm sorry kid, I was looking for the restroom?"_

  
_"Oh, that's two doors down sir," Peter said and went back to reading his book for a few minutes before Tony returned to the room._

 

 _"_ _Why aren't you playing with the other kids downstairs?" The billionaire asked the boy, walking inside._

  
_"Oh, I prefer to be alone and read," Peter said and shifted his position on the bed to let his legs dangle down the side of the bed. Tony took a seat on the bed next to his, facing the boy. "You can read?" Tony asked, amazed. This boy could be no older than three years old. He himself had learned to read at two, almost three, but he was gifted, and even young at that._

  
_"Yes, but I only learned it a few weeks ago," Peter said, smiling sweetly at the man. "That's impressive, how old are you?"_

 

_Peter held up three fingers. "I'll be four in three weeks," he said and Tony smiled. "Wow, you've got a big day coming up then, what's your name kid?"¨_

  
_"Peter Parker, sir. What's yours?"_

  
_"Tony Stark. It's nice to meet you Peter," he said and shook the small hand Peter had stretched out to him._

  
_"You too, Mr. Stark," Peter said as Tony got up to leave the room._

  
_"I'll see you around kid," the billionaire said and he left the room._ _Tony returned to the orphanage only three days later and took Peter out for some ice-cream. He appreciated how polite the boy was being, and how interested in Tony's life he seemed as well. He didn't seem as troubled as he had expected the kid to be, and when he got home that night, he told Steve all about the beautiful brown eyed boy he had chosen, and Steve told him to start the process right then so that they could bring him home before his 4th birthday._

 

_And that's what they did. On the day of his adoption, Peter was shaking all over, too excited about finally getting to go home with Tony, or dad. The billionaire picked his son up sometime in the morning, and put him in a child seat in the back of his Audi._

 

_Peter only had a bag of a few clothes to bring. The rest of what he'd used at the orphanage had been common goods, and Renata had given Tony a list of things to buy before Peter arrived, including pull-ups, the right type of toothpaste, the type of books Peter liked to read and things that specifically Peter loved. Tony had had Pepper buy all that and more; clothes, toys, games. This was the start to something great._

  
_The next memory that Loki showed him, had taken place on his seventh birthday, Steve had married Tony by now, and it was only a matter of time before he offered Peter to adopt him as well. Peter felt so unbelievably loved at that point. There were two people out there who’d been willing to take care of him for practically nothing in return._

  
_The next one was two years later. Nine-year old Peter had just had a nightmare, and he was sleeping between both his parents, safe and sound, cuddling Bucky Bear to his chest. They woke up in the morning and made pancakes, and they watched movies the entire day, neither of his parents were too busy to take care of him and Peter still remembered this as one of the happiest days in his childhood._

 

_Loki showed Peter several more memories of how happy a childhood Peter had had, showing Peter that he was most loved by his entire family that not only consisted of Tony and Steve, but of Pepper, Clint, Natasha, Thor, Bruce, Bucky and Sam and so many more it would take him minutes to count them down._

 

 

 

When Loki finally stopped the memories from coming, Peter looked at him with big, glossy eyes. 

 

"Is there really nothing worth fighting for in your life?" Loki asked the boy but never expected him to answer. 

 

 

The next morning, Peter lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, waiting to be called for breakfast. The thought of slipping in a workout nagged at his body, it really did, but he managed to fight it off. Loki had showed him much more than any of the other Avengers could have, and for now, he really wanted to get better. 

Breakfast had eggs, bacon and lots of bread in stock for him. All fearfoods of Peter, and so he opted for fruit to ease into it. 

"Don't you think you should have some more honey, you have a big day ahead."

Peter rolled his eyes at Frigga, immediately realized who he was treating like that and quickly looked away. "I was going to-" he said and still regretted every bite he took from then on. 

Peter was in for a rough week until graduation. 

**Author's Note:**

> sooo.... I hope I can get back on track with writing but I've been working so much but I'll soon have a few days off.


End file.
